I wish I had money. Old Navy is having a 50% off sale on all mens items till July or some shit. Like I have money, and if I weren't trying to save up for Warped Tour I would've blown it all at the thriftstore, but wow. Fuck me. Srsly. I need job.
I'll say it right now just to get it out of the way, if for some reason things go sour and Kim stops liking me I'm just gonna forget about it and move on. I'm not gonna allow myself to even spend a month moping around, screw that. Fuck this obsessing over a girl who doesn't even like you garbage. Shit wasn't cool the first time. No reason to do it again. On a lighter note, god I love that girl's smile.
I'm so bored today. I might go to the gym again. Yesterday me and Cameron didn't really get a work out since it was packed last night. And he felt like shit. Freal though, a whole pizza for breakfast then Jack in the Box? Come on of course he's gonna feel like shit. I want a stronger back. Not like upper but lower/mid? Like look at Frank Yangs back. The guy is like bulging from the spine. I think that's a very desirable muscle group. Like yeah a guy can have huge arms and a barrel chest but the lower back to me symbolizes real strength and stability. It looks to me like the foundation. I'd also want stronger legs but fuck, we'll see.
What to do... I wanna go over Angelica's house and play with her dog but I think her dad is still mad at me for overstaying my visit, lmao. I was playing with that dog for 5 HOURS and Angelica was already asleep halfway through. It's a puppy yo. HOW COULD YOU FUCKING NOT LOVE PUPPIES?!
I wonder what we're gonna do for Eddie tomorrow. Guy is leaving for Japan for 3 years. We're all gonna drive over to SFO to see him off. I hope I'm not driving, fuck. I'd really hate to have to drive and have Kim in the car smashed between the other guys. AARRGHH my jealousy cannot be contained. I swear I hate driving. I hate the feeling of having to be the responsible one. I hate responsibility. That's why I much prefer hanging out with Joseph and Angelica instead of Daniel and the guys. When I drive Daniel and the guys are fucking retarded and I have to regulate things, makes me feel all uptight. But when I'm with Joseph and Angelica they're usually the ones driving and I get to be the retard. I would much rather chill in the back seat with Kim than have to be all responsible again. I hate leading the pack. I'm not a leader, I don't like making decisions. But I feel that sometimes the guys look at me that way since I'm the one with the car and job. Sometimes I feel that people expect more from me and are irritated when I can't deliver. One question I get alot from people are "Why are you still single?" like it's a shame that I am. Or often times there'll be a hot girl and it feels like everyones expecting me to walk right up to her and spit game like a mack. This sort of stuff makes me feel uneasy. They keep asking me when I'm gonna bang Kim like I hella could anytime I wanted to. I really don't like that.
Yeah, J.D. also mentioned the 50& Old Navy sale and I'm kinda excited to check it out but I don't got money either so it'd kinda be a waste. =/
ReplyDeleteYeah, fuck getting all emo over a girl. You know Phil!
Uhhh stronger legs!? HAHA I love you Phil! <3 =)
Hella in love with that puppy. I mean, it's a puppy but it must be really cute. Take a picture of it and post it here. I wanna see what it looks like.
I see what you saying about the being the leader type thing. My group of friends can never really decide on where to go, where to eat, or just decide on anything really quickly cause IDK. I guess you and your friends just give the responsibility to the drivers cause I kinda feel they should have it... kinda. I mean they are driving. I know if I was driving, I'd really put out my opinon there. If I wanted to go to Vallejo, I'd fucking just do it. And the other thing about seeing a hot girl and your friends expect you to holla, if you look at it the other way, it's kinda like they worship you cause they believe you can do it. Yeee.