A little time out might do ya good, might do us good

Why are you so paranoid?
Don't be so paranoid
Don't be so...

Baby, don't worry about it
Hey there, don't even think about it

You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things
You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things

VERSE #1:

Tell me right now, you really wanna spend your whole life alone
A little time out might do ya good, might do us good before we be done for good
Because I could make it good, I could make it hood, I could make you come, I could make you gooo
I could make you hot, I could make you fly, make you touch the sky, Hey, maybe sooo
All of the time, he be up in my, checking through my cell phone, baby no
You wanna kill the vibe, on another night, here's another fight, Oh, here we go (Oh, here we go)

HOOK:

Baby, don't worry 'bout it
Lady, we'll go out to the floor

Anyway, they don't know you like I do (They don't know)
They'll never know you (Never know)
Anyway, they don't know you like I do (Never know)
They'll never know you

VERSE #2

All of the time, you wanna complain about the nights alone
So now, you here with me, stressin about a 2 liter, leave the attitude way back at home
Yeah, you see 'em look, baby, let 'em look, give you cold looks cuz we look cold
Yeah, you heard about all the word of mouth, don't worry about what we can't control
All the talk in the world, loss in the world 'till you finally let that thing gooo
You wanna check-in to the heartbreak hotel but sorry we're closed


HOOK:

Baby, don't worry 'bout it
Baby, we'll go out to the floor

Anyway, (Hey!) they don't know you like I do (To the floor)
They'll never know you (Never know)
Anyway, they don't know you like I do (They don't know)
They'll never know you

HOOK:

Baby, don't worry 'bout it
Lady, don't even think about it

You worry bout the wrong things, the wrong thing
You worry bout the wrong thing, the wrong thing
You worry bout the wrong thing, the wrong thing
You worry bout the wrong thing...

Anyway, they don't know you like I do
They'll never know you
Anyway, they don't know you like I do
They'll never know you

Anyway, they don't know you like I do
They'll never know you
Anyway, they don't know you like I do
They'll never know you

Fuck them god damn lights.

Quick Joke

Bored.... uhhgg

Dunno why but lately I've been listening to Chinese R&B. I forgot who told me this but music outside of the US has a sort of lag on sound. For instance we had Korn sometime in the mid 90's and then Japan finally gets a band that picks up on it's style around '06 - '07. I feel that asian R&B has that same lag but I like it. I forgot what R&B sounded like before auto tune. Or it's not just auto tune. There's a way R&B used to sound a few years ago that I feel fondly for. On another note, dude looks like Godot from Phoenix Wright.

I'm not high right now but I thought this was interesting. Food after pot changes its value in quality from flavor to texture. When you're high it's the texture and consistency that really wows you. There's a couple foods in particular I wanna try out high. Like spaghetti, ice cream, mangoes, steak...

I dunno if we need more girls in our group but my group needs more female interaction. Like fuck, I feel it. That's what's missing in our lives, that's why we're all bored on the friday/saturday nights. I can't wait to get back to school. Hella need girls. We can't always call Angelica and Kim to hang out with us. And we're banned from Daniel's cousins house for a while, haha. Me and Eddy talked about that while he was still here. We were both distraught over the fact that neither Kim or Angelica were able to go to Hisuis with us and the guys that day. He mentioned how before it didn't really matter if it was just us guys going but nowadays he wonders "how are you guys able to still go through with this?" haha. Maybe it was okay during high school but now, more than ever, we need females. Driving us nuts now. Ya know what would be pretty dope? If while we were out eating or whatever we bumped into a group of girls similiar in number and interest to us, got to know each other, and regularly started kicking it with each other. Like group dates. It reminds me a generic coming of age story but I think it would be mad dope.

Been visiting the gym, not regularly, but surely. I'm seeing some results, gg. Not alot to say there. Just wanted to note that. OH, played basket ball today with the guys. I was hella out of breath, despite being the most in shape. Lmao, I dunno it that is the direct result of smoking or having never ran a lap in the last 4 years.

So proud of myself

*edit*




Thats why, darling, its incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Love it.

Holy crap it's 3pm and my friend is still asleep. I've been at his house since 12 and he's just been sleeping. He doesn't even smoke so why the hell are we lounging at his house all the time like pot heads? He should really fix his sleeping habits.



Yesterday we found a kitten in the parking lot behind Black Angus. It was just in the middle of an empty parking lot sitting there with another cat so like... it's ours now. The other cat just bolted as soon as it saw us so I thought why not. Dunno what we're supposed to do with it though. We named it Dumbass because it's kinda dumb. Like it's eating the plastic plates and lying down in it's milk. Cameron's keeping it since it seems to like him the most, plus it looks like he knows how to take care of it. We think it might have an eye infection so we're taking it to the vet.

Angelica cheated on Joseph. That is the simple truth. She may justify her action by saying Joseph wasn't trying hard enough but when it comes down to it she fell for another guy and allowed him into her life while she was still with Joseph. And I don't blame her, but the fact still remains she was unfaithful to Joseph.

Joseph on the other hand had better grow the fuck up. I don't expect him to forgive either of them or get over it soon but fuck you'd think he'd have shown some improvement by now. He srsly needs to forget about her, keep himself occupied and stop focusing on things that will only eat away at him. For instance he doesn't need to read every single e-mail Angelica and Maui send to each other. Doing that is just asking for heart ache and anger.

Speaking of unhealthy habits, I've finally cleared my head. Don't really feel anything for Kim anymore. She's pretty but whatever. Ahh I need to make more post so that I can push down the barrage of Kim related blogs I made last month a few pages back, haha. Shit doesn't look good.




Holy crap I want one of these for my B-Day. Vodka in the shape of a bong? FUCK ME

I'm not trying to pressure you

Just can't stop thinkin about you
You don't even really gotta be my girlfriend

Really though. I've come back to my senses and have realized I've let my emotions run rampant. At this point all I really want is just to know her. It's just a crush really. Only reason I like her is cause she's mad pretty and we had a little chemistry during fanime. It's not love or anything similar to it so I dunno why I let myself trip or stress the way I do. Much too early to be feeling that strongly about her... Offbeatromantic, no doubt, haha.

With that in mind I'm gonna do things differently. I just wanna get to know her before I really start feeling anything. So I can't just be talking out of my ass any more, telling one liners I think might be funny or stories she might be interested in. She doesn't/won't talk about herself unless I draw it out of her. I also need to be more genuine in my conversations. Before I would just talk to her to try and get at her. That's probably why she feels uncomfortable around me, cause everything I say or don't say is just another attempt to impress her. What she wants is someone who can be real with her and I agree. If I ask her whats up it better to be to really know whats up and not an opening for me to ask her to get out of the house.

anyways explaining that took longer than I wanted.

super sleepy.


I need to clean my eyebrows and get a full body tan again.

write about it some otherttime

Puppies and Pot. These are a few of my favorite things.

Love the sound of this girls voice. It's too bad she only dolls herself up because the company probably ask her to. Otherwise she looks plain. It hurts to say she's ugly cause her voice is beautiful. Very humble though. Just by looking at her vids you'd think she's the average youtube chick with a guitar but really she's pretty famous in the east.

POT & PUPPIES

Just getting this out of the way before I forget to write about it. If there's anything thing that truly brings joy into my life it's puppies and pot. I love puppies and pot. Angelica's dog is so adorable. Yeah I know, my bad, I already have a dog but come on now. Come on. This is a puppy. Love puppies. I haven't seen her in a week. Her hind legs have gotten stronger now. That dog is super playful. She'll actually leap towards my face to chew my nose off. AWWWWW. Rly though, love that dog. Pot is pretty sweet too. Iono if I should brag but I do roll a pretty good joint if I do say so myself. Fuck I might smoke again just because I wanna roll another quality blunt. I guess you could say I'm talented, lmao. But iono. Although I hardly smoke as much as everyone thinks, I should stop now. People are worried. Kim actually went out of her way to tell me she's worried about me and that girl doesn't talk to me for nothing.

OOOHH I see a terrible parallel between Joseph and I. If only we could switch lives for a day *sigh*. What we would do to switch places for a while. Then I could be myself around Kim and he could be around Angelica. We're both spending quality time with the girls we don't want, haha.

BRB

You give me butterflies inside, inside and I

I'll blog later. Lots of stuff I wanna blog.

Be
Right
Back


Mean while


*edit*

Back. Wow I woke up today feelin great and somehow I'm down again. Don't feel like blogging. Maybe I'll talk about it next time.

It's like I know what I got to say, I just don't know how to say it... to you

Swear, hella feeling these Drake songs. Houstatlantavegas, Successful, Best I Ever Had? Pretty dope.

I feel like I've been over thinking things as of late. I'm never really sure of myself, it's sad. You'd think I'd have more confidence in my own person to atleast make decisions on my own. Swear. Even when I know the answer if someone shouts an alternative I end up reconsidering it. Like when I'm driving. I'm pretty damn sure I know where most of these streets go but sometimes people tell me to make wrong turns when I know they're wrong and I take them just because I believe in them more than myself.

How or when did I become this way? Why am I lacking in the self-esteem department? It sucks tremendous dick.

I'm over thinking things way too much, especially when it comes to girls. Hell, even when it comes to work it's been a problem. Francis was lecturing me yesterday because he couldn't stand how I had to ask about everything and couldn't give strait answers. It's not just because I'm new but wow it really is a problem. Traci is new too but she's not this indecisive. Why though, really? I've got people telling me outright that I'm good looking. I've got a nice car (rly though bitches love the car) and money. You'd think that would be enough to give me some confidence right? I see it, and my friends tell me, that if they had the aesthetics (face/body) and capacity to provide (car/money) that they'd be complete. Here I have them both and I don't know what to do with them. That's why I feel like sometimes people get mad at me for being the way I am. I'm a waste of goods, taking what I have for granted. I've never really considered myself more fortunate than others though because I know that in a relationship it takes more than good looks and impressive stuff to keep a girl. It's personality, that genuine sense of self, that holds more substance when in relation to things romantic. And it is Personality that I am severely underdeveloped.

I'm not insecure because I'm ugly or poor, I'm insecure because my personality sucks.

Fuck though. I like a girl, she likes me back. How is it that we're not together right now. It's been over a flippin month already of this. If this were anyone else they would've fucked her by now.



brb, I wanna write more about what exactly am I over thinking but I need to help a friend out.

I don't wanna make it seem like I'm only going to call her when i'm intoxicated

even though right now it's partially true. I should try screening some of the things I send next time. Some of the things I say sound weird. I mean what I say but the execution in my delivery or follow through isn't so great.

Why am I so caught up with my emotions when it comes to this girl? There's nothing special between us and we hardly really know each other. We hardly talk or connect, what bonds exist that brings the tremors of adversity to rock my very core, doubts that may test my blahhh. wtf am I trying to say. I shouldn't let things bother me so much, especially since it isn't love, or maybe even mutual attraction. As far as I can tell it's a crush. So why do I let it get to me? She's not mine so her liking other guys is only natural. She's a pretty girl, of course there'd be competition.

What am I supposed to do when I like a girl anyways? Should I be like visiting her house and stuff just to hang out of no where? Should I be calling her just so I'd be talking to her? It's summer and i'm trying to get at her. What should I be doing? or hell, forget the fact that it's Kim. Just girls period. how am I supposed to be handling this? I have this girls number from work, what do I do with this again? We're at her house and no ones around. What am I supposed to do? I'm not doing anything in the morning and she's not either, should I come over? We're at the movies together, I do what and how? She's flirting with another guy, I'm supposed to win her over how? fuck i feel like I've got so much to catch up with.

Cakey booty, dummy donkey, big ass titties all in my face

Bend breath stretch bitch let it go.

OMG this is mad dope

Happy 4th of July!

bbarrrrgggggg *grumpy face*. Fuck it. Am I being lied to already? I ask her if she's busy on the 4th and here she is today with the other guys on a whim. FUCK. I try to make plans with this girl and they never happen cause she's always saying she's "busy". Then she wonders how is it I'm out doing cool shit without her. What am I doing wrong?

Anyways iono what I'ma do for the 4th of July today. I just came back from the Alameda county fair (I think?) with my family + John (Tara's bf). He's an alright guy. I like him, my parents like him. I probably approve of him more than any of the other guys Tara has been with. Supposably I met her ex one time and he was like "hey remember me?" and I was like "never seen you in my life". Haha. John always makes it a point to greet the family face to face, which is a good thing. Strong hand shake. Shit I could take pointers from this guy. Tara looks happy around him.

I just called Joseph who's with Kim and Ajam. They're at Petco right now. I asked them to call me back after they're done. If they don't call back iono what I'ma do today. I'm not gonna call them back to remind them that I'm doing nothing. They better call back or I'm gonna be real pissed.

Damn that girl.

=(

at this point I can either stay with the family or get super fucked up tonight with whoever. Do I forget about it or let it eat away at me?

*edit*

Kay they called me like shortly after I finished the post. I'm with them now but I'm hella like iono. I asked her what happened to her being busy today, she gave me whatever. Fuck, whatever alright.

I wanna do something fun tonight. Like maybe the oranges and baseball bats thing again. Or just blow shit up. you know.

Sometimes... I think I'm not fulfilling my role and taking on the mantle of "man". Maybe that's why things don't go so smoothly for me. perhaps

Hey now now, watch her go down

I love this song. Our generations Roxanne pretty much. Fast women living a dangerous life they don't know how to leave. Makes you wanna bring love into a girls life and save a ho ya know? "I'm in Love with a Stripper" was alright but it doesn't hit you like the others. It just makes you wanna fuck a stripper.

I'm gonna stop smoking pot for a while. I didn't feel good at all yesterday, I felt like a real pot head, or atleast like the pot heads displayed on TV. Like they have no motivation to do anything or whatever. I figure if I smoke again then I want to do it in moderation and do it during worth while events. Lately I've just been smoking for the hell of it. It's kinda lame. I'm not alone when I'm smoking but still, its like why am I smoking? Same with drinking. Save it for something worth while. Though I am looking forward to drinking more than smoking now.

I let Dylan drive yesterday. FUCK, he's terrible. Omg. And I thought Kim driving to fairfield was scary. I was fearing for my life even though I had restricted him in a parking lot, lmao. The hell am I doing letting these kids drive my car, iono. It would be cool if Dylan got his license before Daniel but it's not practical now that I think of it. Dylan would need to pay for drivers training/ed where as Daniel just needs to pass the test. Thing is I think I'm more scared of letting Daniel drive. I heard he almost drove him and his mom off a cliff.

Daniel was pissed yesterday. Sometimes I think he overreacts but when you think about it Daniel normally doesn't get mad, like ever. So when he does it's usually something serious for him. Yesterday he went to work and told us he could get us free chicken on his break but we decided to drive to fairfield out of boredom (me, kim, cameron, dylan). We stayed there for a while but Daniel was just about to get on his break so we decide to head back to Vallejo. Even though I was speeding at blinding speeds of 90mph weaving my way through cars and shit we were late. Or atleast for him we were. He got all mad that he wasted most of his break just for us and dropped the food on the floor then went back inside. I felt bad so we ended up getting Re: KH: Chain of Memories for him. Iono if he's still mad. I feel bad when I get my friends mad. I don't think anyone really understands that. Though abbrasive and indifferent as I am, I really do care about everyone. Even Angelica. My worst enemy and here I am worrying for her like she's someone important like a sister or something. Joseph is taking his revenge way too far. I hope Andrew is manning up to the task and helping her take her mind off things. I just got off the phone with her this morning and that girl is stressed out like hella bad. Poor girl.

I've got more to write about but I g2g. Joseph's house got egged recently, I wanna help wash it off.

I blog too much about that person.

wwwaaay too much. So much that I dare not even mention that persons name. Srsly need to start blogging about other things because that person definitely isn't the only thing happening in my life. My summer isn't all about one person. And FUCK I must break away from this topic now unless I let this be another post about that person.

Bored today. Dunno what to do.

That girl is hard to stop liking

You'd think I'd be done by now but ah what could ya do? It simply cannot be helped haha.

I smoked so much pot today, swear I have like the sickest head ache. I know I'm not high but wow I am pretty drowsy. I smoked with Kim and her friend Spot this time. Joseph was there too but he never smokes. Come to think of it Spot didn't smoke either but he was helping us get there. Rolled up some of Kim's then used the excess in his makeshift bong. And then there was the tight ass joint I rolled before I left for work. gosh im so sleepy right now. There's other things I wanna write about. Like how much I like work now. or what I wanna do for the 4th of july. money. girls that arent kim.

3 days in a row feeling the same way.

I hella don't feel like I like her anymore. yawn