Happy 4th of July!

bbarrrrgggggg *grumpy face*. Fuck it. Am I being lied to already? I ask her if she's busy on the 4th and here she is today with the other guys on a whim. FUCK. I try to make plans with this girl and they never happen cause she's always saying she's "busy". Then she wonders how is it I'm out doing cool shit without her. What am I doing wrong?

Anyways iono what I'ma do for the 4th of July today. I just came back from the Alameda county fair (I think?) with my family + John (Tara's bf). He's an alright guy. I like him, my parents like him. I probably approve of him more than any of the other guys Tara has been with. Supposably I met her ex one time and he was like "hey remember me?" and I was like "never seen you in my life". Haha. John always makes it a point to greet the family face to face, which is a good thing. Strong hand shake. Shit I could take pointers from this guy. Tara looks happy around him.

I just called Joseph who's with Kim and Ajam. They're at Petco right now. I asked them to call me back after they're done. If they don't call back iono what I'ma do today. I'm not gonna call them back to remind them that I'm doing nothing. They better call back or I'm gonna be real pissed.

Damn that girl.

=(

at this point I can either stay with the family or get super fucked up tonight with whoever. Do I forget about it or let it eat away at me?

*edit*

Kay they called me like shortly after I finished the post. I'm with them now but I'm hella like iono. I asked her what happened to her being busy today, she gave me whatever. Fuck, whatever alright.

I wanna do something fun tonight. Like maybe the oranges and baseball bats thing again. Or just blow shit up. you know.

Sometimes... I think I'm not fulfilling my role and taking on the mantle of "man". Maybe that's why things don't go so smoothly for me. perhaps