A friend of mine told me to sign up for Twitter and I said alright and I tried it and I hated it and I said fuck it and then I went to xanga. Then I hated that too and said fuck it and went to look around what I had missed since I've abandoned xanga. Noticed my friend had a blogspot and remembered most of the coolest shit I've found on the internet were from blogspots and thought, fuck year. So now I have one too.
I'm consciously writing like shit because if this mother fucker can get away with it then I can too. I didn't like twitter and xanga because they felt more like social forums than journals. Actually twitter is something totally different, like a service for stalkers or some shit. But I digress. I like the idea of having a virtual journal that's archived in the infinity of the internet. Saves me time (I forgot how to write with my hands).
... ah who am I kidding. I always write like shit, lmao. I can't remember the last time I successfully articulated anything with words. I haven't taken an english course in so long now. I feel that any skills I had bragged about before have rusted.
So like yeah, continuing from whatever I had written on xanga, my life so far is about the same if not atleast slightly better? Dunno. Today I feel like dog turds.
I saw Up yesterday and loved it. Almost got me crying like a handful of times. Gah I wish I had a love like Ellie. I was thinking about what certain things meant in the movie. It starts off with a typical grumpy oldfag who can't let go of the past, holding to whatever shit that holds sentimental value in regards to his wife. (Fuck I'd be the same way too if I had Ellie. Would've went apeshit on that construction guy when he broke the mailbox.) And that's basically the story of Up. Forget the talking dog and floating house. What Up is about is an old man trying to overcome the loss of his wife. The house only exist to symbolize his inability to let go. Emotional baggage like a motherfucker, constantly looming over him. Eventually he learns that he doesn't need to keep a whole bunch of shit to feel closer to Ellie but to keep in touch with what he and Ellie really shared, the spirit of adventure. Ellie is no longer with him, however, on his back and in his heart she continues to live on! lmao gurren lagann.
I guess that's why I really liked the movie because I've been wondering about that alot lately, about life as we get older. It's comforting to know that even as an old man I can still be awesome. Some of my other friends hated it though. I guess they felt it was too childish for them to be watching, especially since it was just us 6 guys watching it together on a friday night. I would've opted for The Hangover if I hadn't already seen it and knew it was mediocre. Swear The Hang Over is not that funny. To me that movie was the equivalent of a bunch of jocks telling each other how awesome they were at a party, exaggerating whatever they did and elevating themselves to legend. It's awesome through word of mouth, that's it. Otherwise it's just alright. When I was watching it I felt that the only reason most of the people were laughing is because the scenes of the movie has reminded them fondly of their own memories of being smashed. Pineapple Express though, that's where it's at. Best Fight Scene of '08, fuck. haha. Genuinely funny.
FML. I feel terrible. I'm not crazy about her anymore but wow I'm stressing about a 16 yr old girl. And I know I shouldn't be thinking of her with that label on but fuuuck. How is it that I am struggling this hard? Shit sux. A week ago it just occurred to me that it takes more than physical attraction to hold a relationship. (Dunno how I forgot that but I just did.) I think the problem is that either me or the both of us are unable to be ourselves around each other, or atleast in a 1-on-1 scenario. The silence is awkward, my dialogue holds no personality, and her expressions lack interest. At first it irritated me when she told me she didn't feel comfortable enough to go on a date 1-on-1 with me and would rather prefer a double date but as of late I've been feeling the same way. Hell I feel myself dreading the idea of just me and her hanging out. My cousin told me that this was normal though and that she and her guy had worked through it. Funny how she was in the same situation as me, but on the opposite end of it. Lmao freal though. They hadn't been on a 1-on-1 date until 2 years of being together. Fuck, for alot of those dates her mom tagged along. haha, that's crazy. Hearing that helped me gain some confidence for my own situation but I dunno what happened. I think things died down.
I don't like this feeling, like I gave up. I had better take up my friends advice though, throw some sort of game at her while she still likes me. I doubt she still likes me though. Hell I don't even know if I like her anymore. Whatever attraction we had with each other must have dissolved by now. I don't know why I have such a hard time deciding things. Some mornings I wake up feeling like fuck it, moving on and other days feeling like I'm ready to do everything for this girl. Today I feel like fuck it.
Going to the gym with my friend later. lmao fucking this is what I aspire to
I love how while he's celebrating everyone leaves like they don't know him
"Emotional baggage like a motherfucker"
ReplyDeleteThat phrase sums up that idea so perfectly, I just had to leave a comment stating that. I actually laughed at its accuracy.
I think you summed up Up perfectly. I think people tend to talk too much about how funny the dogs were and how silly that bird was, but I agree with you that the heart of the movie was really about his relationship with Ellie and what it really meant for him, the spirit of adventure.
And yeah, my eyes were drowning in tears during the beginning montage. So much blinking back tears. Fuck. I would kill to have a relationship with a girl like Ellie. And meeting her in such a cute way like in the movie. But I guess I'm too old for that now. Haha.
And yeah, I used to lurk /fit/ back when they first introduced it. Then several months later I went back to it and I lol'd several times at their obsession with Frank Yang.
Anywayys, dude, I'm glad that you're blogging again. I'll talk to ya later.